Firsts, a Second, and an Expected Last, B.T. (before title)

p/s: I actually already finished about 80% of this expected lenghty post when suddenly my laptop decides that its not tolerable to heat anymore and shuts down. Even the auto save system didn't kick in. I'll try to write a shorter version (significantly short) from memory (of the deceased post).

I am going to ignore the fact that I haven't posted anything in this blog since...ever.

As most of the people who knows me the recent year would know, last Monday was when I(we) were supposed to get our results and make the visas to our appropriate county. Everything went okay. Except the fact that there was no result, and we didn't even know our own country. I didn't really mind, but I do empathy on those who made hours trip to get there.

I empathy them..

Anyhow. Apparently, Safwan haven't made his passport yet. So when my visa business that cost RM321, which I had to be house-grounded to save up, is done, I went to make the visa at PKNS (pkns bleh bwat passport?!). Faris ("nak ikut!x2") offered to accompany us.

Side story: On the way there, at one of the traffic lights, we were the second. When the light turned green, I moved the car forward slowly in anticipation to the car in front, which is very slow when I think about it. *BUMP!* Suddenly the car shook. Apparently the car behind wasn't as patient and attempted to make me go faster by hitting me from behind. We all know what happens when a new car hits and old car (GO ISWARA!!), the car behind (BOOO MYVI!!) had one of its front lights broken while MY-WARA only got a crack on the number 3 on the number plate.(Update: My mom is making a big fuss about the can-fit-a-finger sized crack. Sheesh..)

just minutes after collision (expected result)

We parked at SACC Mall and went to PKNS. Then I suddenly remembered to give Dino his package at the bus stop. So Faris and Safwan went ahead while I went with my chore. When I tried to find the Immigration Department, I got lost. I mean, there were actually 2 Immigration Departments (I'll refer to it as ImD) in PKNS. Oh wait, whats that? There are four? 2 on each level? and I actually went to the first 2 ImDs on the wrong level. There weren't even signs. Are these really government offices? 

I believe they have their reasons

When I actually found the correct FLOOR, I could only find one of the ImDs, the 'wrong' one. This time there were signs. But only points to one of them. The one that makes Visa(s). Seriously. Why do you need to separate the visas and passports. Don't you need both to actually stay in other countries? And why are they like hiding the passport section. I don't think my country is THAT desperate for patriotic citizens.


Following the directions from my kind, patriotic, and equally intelligent fellow citizens who works in the area, guards, cashiers, and the inquiry counter, I got myself to WALKING AT THE SAME PLACE FOR 15 WHOLE MINUTES. How do you understand "kat belakang" when walking in the referred 'belakang' will get you to either a toilet, or just some stairs to other floors?


Eventually I was finally able to reach the well hidden (WHY?!) ImD for going-out-of-country-to-be-potential-traitors licence making, with the help of some girls who were also lost, some aid from Faris and Safwan, and some really good guesses. By the time I reached there, I was exhausted and sat (fell) on the nearest bench. Luckily, the said nearest bench was where Safwan and Faris were sitting. Apparently, Safwan had to take new pictures because the pictures he presented had less pimple scars than he is now. Do people look THAT different with +5 pimples. Imagine Malaysian spies around the world, during missions with their disguises; 


"aren't you that guy from before? 
Nope, that was someone else. As you can see, I have more pimples. 
Owh yeah. That like, totally makes sense. 
*turns*, 
*BAM*"

Real Malaysian spies, before pimple disguise..

Well, Safwan was trying to take his picture with a photo booth available. The booth was all like; "please insert the amount shown on screen", and we were all like;"insert where? Xde slot pape pon", and it answers; "please insert tho amount shown" =.=" ...so he went to take his picture somewhere else...


When all is done, we needed to wait a full hour before the passport is completed. Standard procedure. We just sat there because I was too tired. The the calls starts coming. Han was asking about when I'm coming back to mais. Dino was asking me to drive him to KL Central. I was asking Azizi about the evening since Faris said they (Azizi, Shaun, and Aime) wanted to go to Sunway for diner (berbuke);

-Kau katne?
-tgh on da way balek umah aku. Nape?
-Kate nak gi Sunway?
-X jadi. Ni Aime, Shahnubar, ngan Helmy tido umah aku. Dino ngan Afiq nk dtg nnti
-Wau ramainyer. Berbuke brsame 2 x jadi kan?
-A'ah. Kitorg buke kt umah aku je.
-Alang2 ramai kt umah kau, Aku, Safwan ngan Faris buke kt umah kau jelah.
-HAH? .......Ok kot. Korang nak tido umah aku ke?
-Kitorang bleh je balek Mais balek lepas buke pose klau menyusahkan
-Oh ok, bleh2. Bwk baju skali.(ignoring above line)
-Ok...
-Tpi aku dtg amik korang lambat sket la...
-Aku ade kete..
-Korang tnggu aku kul 5 aku amik(ignoring above line)(again)
-Aku ade kete Azizi...
-Owh? x ckp...tau jln x?
-Kau bgitau jela...
(and it continues on with the directions...)


In a 4 minute conversation, it was decided that I will drive to Ampang to Azizi's house and will sleepover with Faris and Safwan. I couldnt stop laughing on how sudden the decision was made.


TO BE CONTINUED
memo: Ingtkn nk tulis sikit je, tpi seronok lak smpai trlalu pnjng...so ade part 2, where the title actually applies...

Its been a long time

it really has been a long time since my last post. To know why, you would have to know me better. How could you possibly know better of me when you dont even know the basics of Amin? Before I get carried away and start typing like an arrogant prick, i should just say that this post is about me.

First of all, I like to talk. A lot. Upon uneasiness, i would say that its because time is golden. I'm not like those with abilities to communicate with people effortlessly. I need to think. I need to predict. I need to plan. I need a strategy. Communication among creatures is not just as simple as your so called "talk". IT IS WAR. Which apparently doesnt even make sense, because theres nothing to fight over. Then again, actual war doesnt make sense either. At least the modern ones doesnt.

Anyway. Time is precious. If i dont have the ability to actually make good conversation in a good-conversation-time, then let there at least be A conversation. Be it talking by myself for 30 minutes, or even better, talking TO myself for an hour (i dont have that many conversation time). Anything goes. Time doesnt repeat itself so we can do better in it. We repeat the same thing over and over again in hope that it does.

But personally, i just want more people to know more about me. Asking too much questions to someone is nosy, but not talking at all is just wrong.(well, not really)

About asking. I really do like to ask questions. I am not those of the gossip groups. Or at least those with actual information (by "actual", i mean it involves the real world, not comics or fictions). So i always intend to ask a lot of questions. Dont get me wrong. Its not fair that someone with the same social ability knows more of the real world just because he was there to evesdrop, and tells me i'm nosy when i ask about it. Nosy is wanting to know personal information. Its reasonable to be shunned upon because its someone's right to privacy. But the fact that your telling others about it is really really wrong. Asking a question about someone shows that i actually care about him/her. Not to abuse and gossip about it. Just pure curiosity.

Curiosity kills the cat? Well, ignorence of a certain frog under a certain coconut shell caused it to be so depressed and killed itself out of loneliness and information retardation. Probably not even knowing that being squished under a tire is not as fun as it sounds.

But seriously, i like to ask questions. I always find myself asking a cashier of a shop about an item. Or a cashier of a fast food restaurant of his/her opinion. Or anywhere that makes food about how its made and the ingredients. Its fun to know all the fun facts. And you would know more about what you but, or going to buy (or wont ever buy).

Next is that i'm very light boned. This would mean that i'm diligent, likes to help people, or just not getting enough calcium. I'm trying to fix the last one. But yeah. I have a bit of all of them. But my diligence is limited to things i actually like. I do like a lot of things, for various reasons unknown and shall not be known to any living creature (i can tell you if your fall dead after hearing it). But thats another story. And i only help people when it in someway makes me think it will benefit me in some way. That sounds messed up. I really shouldnt type long posts at this time of night.

But seriously, i just like it. I always try to do things the hard way, or walk the long path. Its just my way to learn more about something. Some comic once said to me that to advance in life, we must first learn the basics of life (i forgot the actual sentence and just made that up). Going the long way gives the chance to see more stuff that people ignore for the sake of saving time so that they can waste it on something else that seems worth wasting time on but is actually not. Like the internet. I seriously need sleep right now.

There are other artributes of myself, but lets save it for later. i dont type well when i dont open my eyes.

But i have 2 things that I call sickness that covers up all the above angelic traits.

First is shyness. or rather fear.
Upon my growth to this point of time, i had many expirience in life. Bitter or sweet. Much like anyone else. But each have a different effect. Most events have the same effect on people, but cumulatively, each brings out a different personality.

My past mistakes and supposedly-wrong deeds had caused me to value heavily what people think of me. Its the whole foundation of my survival. I'm not going to blabber-type any of it in this post. That would be awful. But just understand that i really fear bad perceptions by others.

Thats one way to explain it. Another is simply plain shyness. Like talking to a stranger. Or making friends. But it usually goes away if a person i think i would never see again is involved. Most of whom have gone on trips with me, just the two of us, would understand this. But for those who dont, imagine going out with me, and i start walking funny, talking funny, making wierd gestures and remarks, generally not making sense at all. Thats a sign of total unshyness. You could probably see something fly away from my head into the sky at some point we're together.

And now i'm really annoyed by the cheering outside. Random thought.

The second sickness is total random-unlogical-complex-just-plain-wierd laziness. This covers the general laziness to study. The randomness comes when i'm deciding not to give and example because it sounds funny typing like this and making you think i'm wierd. Random enought? dont ask.

An actual example is like typing every word in this post with correct spelling and grammar, because i'm too lazy to explain to anyone who doesnt understand any short-forms. I do my homework a week early because i'm too lazy to do it the next week. And so forth.

So that completes "about amin : typing-at-4-in-the-morning version"

really like to post stuff, but just cant seem to move my body whenever i want due to extreme laziness.

Owhyeah. I also am easily flattered. Everything that i think is a compliment or at least makes me think that you care about me, it would go to my head and amplified by a figure of gajillion (a word invented for the imaginary number in my head). I do like it. But i'm worried i might take it too seriously.

No proper ending. Must find pillow to sleep. Must move finger to button. touchpad too annoying. Must post before more annoying yelling of annoying football watching people annoys me....*press*

Before, During, and After

As most of you who reads my blog means that you have my Facebook. This means that you would know that I had my 19th birthday a few days back. Truthfully said, hands down, that it’s the best birthday ever!!!!(For now).

BEFORE

It was nearing my birthday so I didn’t know what to do the weekend before. Some of my friends were planning on going to Sunway on Monday, but I wanted to go on Tuesday (my birthday). Still, since Azizi and Fidod are going, I heavily consider the option.

But then my brother called saying that he’s going to treat the whole family for his first paycheck, with the condition that the family member involved must be home. I already said to my mom earlier that I wasn’t coming home that weekend. Some of the people out there would know of my family problem (it’s not you, it’s me, literally). Somehow, the thought of food kicked in and I said yes.

But then in the evening, someone added me on ym and wanted to get to know me. As the loving and only-sociable-on-technological-platform as I am, we talked, and got to know him a bit. He’s in Shah Alam on a trip and would be returning to Johor Bharu at 4.30. Something about him impressed me. Can’t put my finger on it (actually I could, but that’s a secret) (?). He merely raised the idea of me going back with him, but I instinctively took it seriously (?!) and offered. The bus was supposed to be at 4.30, but then due to my sudden accompaniment, if got changed to 6.00 so that I can fit (in the bus. I can fit fine in the seat).

There I was on a journey for the first time alone (no family) to JB. Along the way, I got to know more about the guy who magically persuaded me without even doing anything. I decided to stay until Tuesday morning even if it means costing one of my classes and a birthday (or so I thought).

The guy goes to work on the day, so I spend my day just watching movies and getting bored. But when he returned, it was fun. He’s the kind of person who could speak to a taxi driver like he’d known the guy his whole life (this actually happened). It wasn’t hard to enjoy my time there.

DURING

Monday night I just felt so tired watching movies all day that I fell asleep right after diner. But when I woke up, the room was dark, and the only source of light was a candle, on a cake, in his hands. The one thing that I wanted on a birthday for 10 years was given to me by a friend I just made barely two days before. It was the most touching thing that anyone ever done to me. He even gave me a present. A teddy bear. His teddy bear. One that he kept from anyone for years (months actually, but it wont sound as good). I went back with a smile all the way.

I was still planning on going to Sunway to skate, even if it means I have to go alone. I always did spend my days alone. Even went to Midvalley and KLCC alone for the sake of pitying myself. It was a logical idea and I would have gone through with it. That is, until Ahmad Hafiz offered to go to diner with me.

The actual plan was to go to diner with friends, but when it was time to go, no one cared. I was just not that important to anyone. Not a beautiful girl who people go to diner with at pizza hut just because its her (I'M NOT COMPLEMENTING YOU!!! METAPHORE!!!). But it seems that the day was important enough to me for him to care.

So that makes me going on a date with Amad. We went to Secret Recipe, and we had a date. Amad is the one of the people I just cant stop analyzing (bad habit). He just has this ability. It’s like he can be immature and charismic at the same time. And by being immature, he became funny, not even slightly annoying. Diner with him was the best present even I didn’t realize until we reached home.

It was a good birthday.

AFTER

As I wasn’t present on my birthday, most of my classmates wished me on the next day. I even got a shirt that a bit fit compared to my usual wardrobe, but what the heck. It’s a present, and I don’t get much presents in my life.

I got a really nice tie from Farahi

I got chocolate from Mya

I got Big Apple from Lynda

There’s more, but I just want to say thank you.

I got 62 wishes on Facebook

And 6 wishes on my phone.

6+2 +6 = 8+6 = ^_^

Dear Brother

P/s: this post is written in a letter format

Dear Brother,

Its been almost 19 years we've been together. We shared good memories as we grew up. Bitter and sweet. Mostly being scolded by mom. But sweet. I always thought you were cool. Still is. Everything I do is just a failed attempt to be like you. You had many friends. You have great fashion sense. You even look good. You were my goal as I grew up. Every time I achieve something you didn't, I always screamed in my heart, and being hyper happy all day long. My only success so far is at academics. I wont be rubbing anything in.

As I grew up, I also developed my own personality due to reaching my puberty and teenage life at SDAR. In the package comes also a different way of thinking. It gave be sights on things that I never noticed before. And the first thing I notice is that we are totally different. The way we talk, joke, wear, think, see, even interests.

I find myself having much difficulty talking to you. I dont want you to think that I'm not cool. Its the same problem with all my family members. I dont feel that bond of eternal family/friendship. I know its there. I can see what it makes them do. I even notice myself doing it. But I just dont feel it. I find myself beeing all hypocrite to you and our family. Saying what you want to hear, doing what you want me to do, respond the way I should respond. All half heartedly. I dont even know why.

Since you've been studying in Singapore, I have seen much less of you (same to you). But when you came to do internship at Batu Caves, I didnt know how to respond. I was not happy, but scared that you will find out who I really am. I was scared that I could keep my posture when you're that close. You acted like a true brother, and I acted like one, but my heart didnt.

I still think you're the closest person to a celebrity that I know of. And I still am trying to be you. I try to talk like you (resulting in my very weird way of talking), dress like you (borrowing your cloths and wearing baggy pants), and be more social like you (hence the more friendly act).  Upon writing this I could say, that I love you as a brother and a family... but I dont think I can repeat myself anytime I wanted to.

My brother, imagination eye version

Apparently, I got custody of the car for another week. I think I pissed my brother off.

Happad

My hamster just gave birth to what I thought was 4, but turned out to be 4 and a half. By half I mean half eaten by the mom like a big pink gummy bear. It is not something you would like to see. I was fortunate that mine was a gummy bear...

not pictured, fortunate gummy bear

I am supposed to be happy about this. I am. But not that happy. Its like not happy enough. Emotional weirdness is not something I like. I n fact, its very sad to know that you cant feel what others feel. Its so sad, that I don't even know what to say about the matter anymore. Being sad is like, not being happy. Or in some genetic conditions, co-dominance of happy and sad. Happad or Sappy.

"Sappy"

On another note, This week, specifically on Monday, I had my MUET speaking test. It was really fun. Sarcastically speaking. It didn't go well during the individual parts. I repeated a lot of parts ("spend", "most", "time" repeated in any order for 2 minutes). But during the group discussion I had too much fun (if that is even possible). I smiled a lot, and didn't even look serious. I think the invigilators even giggled at my unseriousness.

invigilator's actual picture

In time with the MUET test, I got the opportunity to borrow my mom's Kancil to Shah Alam. I was a little bit too enthusiastic about it. I find myself looking for reasons to drive the car. Being the oil-saving-awesome car it is, it gave me no problems to quench my thirst. I got bloated of it. No I don't. Sad thing is, my brother wants to use the car from Saturday onwards for work. In other words, this may be the last 7 days I even have a chance of owning the car. I understand how no one could resist it,

....Perodua Kancil....

but he had it before for months. I just want it at least until my mid-semester exams are over. Now I find myself driving senselessly at night, going to a different 7-E every night.

Kampung

Yesterday I went on a trip to my dads Kampung in Sabak Bernam. I was supposed to be the co-driver, but I dedicated myself to sleeping all the way there. But I'm not an evil guy whos term 'teman' means just being there without doing nothing (or am I)(I am). Its just that for those who know me, unless I get some adrenaline in my blood at the moment(s), I am very sleepy in a car (any comfortable vehicle actually)(bas MSU not on the list of 'confortable'). So I slept all the way there, but drove all the way back.

Anyway, this is not a story of the trip. Its the story of my kampung(s). As most of you people out there know, the minimum number of hometowns(kampung) is 1, and the normal number is 2(for each parent). This part of being normal I dont mind(do I?), because it means that my parents are happy(seriously, dont I mind?). Anyway, my mom's is in Sungai Petani, Kedah, and my dad's is in the aforementioned Sabak Bernam, Selangor.
Oh, wait, both of my granddads passed away before I could remember them, one before I was born, one a few days after I was born. This is also another normal thing that I dont mind(BECAUSE ITS NOT NORMAL)(and I'm really sad about it my whole life). I keep hearing about how great they were....

Back to topic, my mom's mom was and is a farmer of paddy. Every morning she rides a bike to the field, work the field(s), and return in the afternoon. Even then, she still has a small(mpv sized) kebun in front of her house. By her house, I mean the house that she merged with her 2nd eldest son, my Pak Lang,'s house. She speaks Kedah(of coures) but usually speak normal malay with us.

My dad's mom was a.... she is a..... I dont even know what she does everyday(!). In my early years, she live in a house quite far back, surrounded by an actual forest(kinda like a swamp forest). The floor creeks on each step, and we never dared to run it for even with a jog with our weight(7 years old, maybe around 20kg), seems like an seismic instability resonance activator(in normal people terms, 'can bring the house down'). But there were chicken, and we loved playing(more like torture) with the chicks(aspiring playboy training). But then the owner of a house near it(its lawn is our only path to our front porch) died. Then somehow, the next time we visited, my grandma moved to that house. This one was fun. It cant handle the run but we can still jog on it. It was bigger. And it had more chicks (nice...). But some years before, when I was in secondary school, the house was demolished and replaced with a stone house that seems to be incomplete, even after it was completed. My grandma speaks jawe. So does my dad. But not us. My grandma rarely speak usual malay, and we always had a hard time understanding her. If chinese was a full trottle ferrari, jawe was a concord. In rare moments, if you observe hard enough, you can anctually see her breaking the sound barrier.

In truth, we loved both kampungs equally when we were around primary school. I truth, we prefer Kedah than Sabak when we were in secondary school. In truth, we dont prefer Sabak now. Its sad. We always liked Sabak for the awesome number of chicks, but with the new house ( the stone one), it all went away, and Kedah finally ranked top on the list (of two)

Nowadays we rarely go to Sabak. Only on occasions where my dad went for a visit (like yesterday) and a pit-stop on our journey to Kedah. Its not even fun anymore. And who wouldnt prefer the kampung that you can actually sleep in and understand the language. Sabak on the other hand was like mars (the not edible one). You cant survive a day there, you need a humartian (human+martian=dad) as a tour guide, and the resident break the lingual sound barrier on a daily basis. Just like real martians.

grandma coming through!!

Anyway, as much as Sabak gave me a wonderful childhood (I regret to confirm), it does not now...

Now a song for the lost of Mars(the village, not the bar) in my heart....

Oh ya, song is subject to imagination.

Note to Self

From Amin, to Amin...

Do not jump off a stair in public (they dont care, but your sandals do)

Wake at least one hour before the bus arrives (or earlier)

Always have breakfast (no matter the cost)(WAIT, BUY CHEAP ONES!!!)

You dont like Hakim (the restaurant)(and the work)

Figure out why you use the sambal of Sup Utara as gravy (WHY THE HECK???!!!!)

Dont splash water on someone (NO MATTER HOW CRAZY YOU ARE!!!!)

Care what Azizi and azam thinks about cleanliness (azizi about food, azam about housekeeping)(THEY ARE NEVER WRONG!!!)

Buy a facewasher

Drink soy to grow hair

Grow hair at all cost

KEEP IT at all cost

Get to INDIA at all cost

Be close to that person at all costs

All costs should be moderated

Say thank you to everyone that helps you

U80 bus comes around every 45 minutes

Be 30 minutes early

If you sleep pantsless, makee sure u wea a blanket (cold morning)

Go jogging (u need it)(and the 'view' is nice (>.<)) 

 Do push-ups every morning (to cover up your surprisinfly visible ribs) 

 

Buy Ahmad Hafiz a kit kat 

 

Buy Safwan and Fidot chocolates 

 

Buy presents for Rono and Paul 

 

Deliver the presents to Rono and Paul 

 Ask for their addresses first 

 

When you realize that you hate your parents because they are the same as you, completely forget the though...if not, your better of dead. 

 

Anyway, I have this habit of talking to myself. Who else knows you better? Who else is always there for you? I have this habit of saying "Note to self, ....." a lot. I usually forget then in the next 5 minutes, but the above are some that are important enough for me to remember. Talking to myself makes me who I am now. I have this inferiority complex where unless someone is against it, I think that anything I do is hated by everyone. Lately(the past 3 years), this problem was covered by my fortunate scoring of the whole year of form 5 and SPM. Since, people have been thinking me as a genius or something(NOT TRUE!!!),and thus, the inferiority complex is repelled. But now, with a lot smaller community (OMG mara!!! what happened?), and exam scores cant help me (or can it?...), Its coming back. Thus develops a new personality of Amin, or was it just the real one? 

Anyway, these good people somehow made me more confident. I usually establish a crush every time I enter a new community as a motivation and strive for that person, but my whole class made me feel very happy, and I appreciate that. 

Then again...my crush is still my motivation (its always the good ones), and I find myself studying when I see my crush studying. 

The feeling is still there, and as we are together and I understand more, the feeling grows. 

Thanks.

Dreams

ITS ANOTHER WEIRD DREAM!!!! SARCASTIC YAAAYYY!!!!

It actually happened 2 days ago. I had too hard of a time fighting my desire to do absolutely nothing (ruined by the promise of future fame and wealth).

Like any of your dreams, I cant actually remember how it started. I can only remember the most interesting (a.k.a weird) part of it. As mentioned in the previous sentence, I don't even know how it started, so I,m just going to tell you key points.

First scene: CANT REMEMBER!!! Dreams are the world that science practically base its aims on, but it comes with a forget-90-percent-of-it feature (totally unnecessary if you ask me. But then if it wasn't there, we would sleep all day now wont we? (not that we're not already).

Back to the point, the first part consist of somehow (?) me being somewhere (?!) with someone(?!!!!!!!!!!)(oh wait, I did remember, but don't wanna tell). Now that I'm writing this at this time, it seem like we were alone with a lake-like background (Shah Alam?). The only part that I remember is when that someone(still not telling) actually told me to stay away from him (in an annoyed kind of way), with me keep bugging everyday (ogling, staring, you know what I mean)(or do you now...). Then again, maybe it was just plain anger. Then againX2, I think we were on a 'kayak'. OH MY GOD!!! IT WAS THE KAYAKING, that would have happened today (damn you rain)(P/s:I still like rain). I just realized as writing this that maybe I was seeing the future!!!! (0.0). Just maybe.... I should post my dreams earlier....

Anyway, the next scene, somehow, I was going into a fight with someone (I really don't know this one), a guy, but then after what i don't even recall, we both turned into girls, the scene was suddenly my seremban house living room, and I was talking about my past, as if to explain why I was picking a fight. Kinda like cliche part of a manga (who the heck pause a fight to talk!!!). Then when we actually fight, it wasn't normal, but the pain was at normal body parts. At this point of my life, pain in dreams are already common. But this time, when I woke up to the call of subuh (thx mus), my left arm, the one last injured in the dream fight, was actually paralyzed for 5 minutes. It was not that it was holding my body weight (I checked immediately), or some kind of super power coming after a radioactive mosquito bite (still checking)(been checking since I discovered the wonders of television). I still don't know, even after typing it.

What I'm trying to say here, is that my last two dreams are feeling more realistic. It's actually scaring me. Who in their right mind wouldn't?(Einstein?).

Then again...

Still, without it, It would make me something like this...

Relativity and Stereotypes

When describing something or someone, we use what the English language calls 'adjective'. It is a work that represents a criteria of a person. We often use these words in our daily life, speaking or not...

But what people do not realize is that almost all adjectives are not actually a word for a specific trait. All adjectives are 'comparing' words. What I'm trying to say is that adjectives are directly determined by the most common trait in humans.

For an example, in Malaysia, the height of 170cm is 'normal' for male. Any higher of a number will be called tall and the opposite will be called short. But in the USA, 180cm is the 'normal' so most Malaysians will be referred to as short.

What I'm trying to point out here is that we only judge people with what we usually see. We all have the gift by god of being a 'one of a kind'. So why are we clumping a lot of people together in adjective categories? Is it so fun to be the same like everybody else, do what other people do and ignoring your own preference. Your only comfort is the little things that you do like how you eat, personal secret habits, the ignored preference, or maybe your boobs or penile size.

If you think about it, you should be ashamed to be this so called 'normal'. Everyone has a different specific goal in earth life, but why must we take the same route. Taking a different route doesn't mean you will be alone. There is this thing called "The Universal Rule of Universe", and one of them is 'nobody is alone'.

Lumping people together (stereotyping) just because they are the same race of from the same country is wrong. Just because some(most) Malays are lazy, some Chinese are dirty, some Indians are rude, and some Muslim are terrorists, DOES NOT MEAN THAT ALL OF THEM ARE.

As a summary, i would like to quote;

"IT'S OKAY TO BE WEIRD, IT'S WEIRD IF YOU'RE NOT"

Occational non-lazy swings

La st nite I dreamed that i had a fever so hot that I burned myself when I touched my own arm. Then when I woke up, I was actually in a bed (not mine) and totaly healthy and not hot, a bit cold actually. It amazes how in the dream, the fever felt very real. When I woke up for Subuh (thx alot Amad), i came to fear that it was a sign of hell in the future, the actual hell.

So it inspired me to do something that actually count as not wasting time. So I read the book that I bought at Kinokuniya the day before. I read it all morning and got through 200 wonderful pages of the thriller novel. I stopped purposely at 12 and bath, planning to go straight to lunch at Sup Utare, pray at the surau, and do some assignments.

But then, Sup Utare wasnt open, and i went for plan D, sardines and bread for lunch. I put the sardines in a water bath. In the process of waiting, i was somewhat forced to clear the sink in order to actually have lunch. It actually angered me enought that they didnt clean up yesterday even after my mom actually made lunch for them. I AM REALLY ANGRY!!! Still pissed till this post, but with more patience with time. Eventually I end up cleaning the whole sink of ignored garbage and unattended containers, and even took out the trash. All out of anger.Then I ate, while watching How I Met your Mother and got addicted till 4, then I prayed. Then I felt like doing the research at night, so i went downstairs, briefly watched some crappy Bleach episode, and slept at Jojo's room.

I woke up at 7 to pray and ate diner and continued reasearching. But then I sidetracked,a nd my browser got stuck. So I went downstairs and continued reading my novel for 100 more pages on Zizie's bed (doubled now),till at around 2 when i actually get ready for bed.

Now I'm sleeping late writing this post. The dream the nite before really bugged me till now. And the fact that I usually do good deeds out of a wrong feeling (envy, anger, selfish, fame, impressing). The fact that although I keep doing the little good deeds everyday, I dont do the major ones as often.

YOU CAN ONLY FEEL GUILTY, IF YOU REALLY ARE...

Saye telah wat anouncement

Adelah suatu hari di CFS, kawan saye bertanye tentang kahwin, make saye secare jujur-lurus-bendul-bodo-gak menjawab:

"Saye x suke pompuan skarang. Xsuke tu maksud saye bukan saye gay, cume saye x brminat or even terase nak couple ngan pompuan skarang. So kalau suatu hari nanti, kalau adelah seorang perempuan ni berjaye memikat hati saye, make saye tau lah die jodoh saye"

Diorang pon tye la balek, kalau parents yg carikan isteri camne? Make saye pon mejawab:

"Parents saye xkan bwat cam2. Saye dah tanye 3 kali dah kat diorng supaye jangan carikan. Danh konfem siap2 dah"

So post ni sbnrnyer cume nak ckp, just becoz i dont wanna couple with girls right now, x brmaksud i dont like to be friends.

But in reallity, kalau seseorng tu memang mempunyai personaliti yang menarik, sape x suke kan? Xkisahla laki ke pompuan...

Hamster House Renovation (HHR!)

The remodeling was not once, but twice, just because i had a better idea after i was done the forst time. and when i write in a way that says i work alone, i mean i work alone, in renovating my hamsters 'house'. (and my lil sis's on the side..)
The original design was like so..



Then i did the renovation. I didnt take a picture of the first one, but it looks similar to the final result below..



It looks weird in the pic, but the main difference is that if you see carefully, there are 3 tunnel openings on the wood dust which connects to the semi transparent pink plastic which acts as the main house or burrow. The green disc is its treadmill (plastic mill) and is actually on top of one of the tunnels. I wanted to recreate the hamsters original wilderness environment..

Its not that somebody will care about this posting of information, but i am too exited about it to care. It took me a full half hour just to arrange it, and my lil sis's hamster house too. All done spontaneously o.O

Report on weekend Kampung trip

I pulled myself together to write this post. I feel like it is my duty to update my blog to certain peoples that I love >_0!

This post will be about my trip to my kampung at Kedah. I don’t usually (rarely) like going back. I always think that the kampung people thinks I’m a wimp (which is actually true) and a sissy (might be true) and treats me accordingly. Maybe its because of my fondness of long hairs and my love of certain things. Anyhow, this time, its different because I actually look more manly with my short hair (I still don’t like it) and the fact that I didn’t resist going.

Straight from the highway, we went to the usual Pak Ya (a traditional medicine man), and spend significant time as usual. When we finally reach my grandma’s house, I was relieved that there are not that many people as usual. Almost immediately I went out with my Tok Ngah to fetch my Mak Su (whom I don’t even know who the heck!!). Then after eating some kampung chicken (eating them is art!) and some ‘tapai’ (really sweet!), went out to The Store and wasted RM2 when buying an eyedropper at Guardian when I should have bought it at a much cheaper Watson’s store. My dad got maxis broadband by the way.

The next morning, I paid for 15 nasi lemak for everyone home including myself and RM4 or kuih. I keep convincing myself that I love charity. Then we went to Pak Ya again (its advised to go 3 times). On the way back, we stopped at some mosques to get a few bottles of their kolah water (????) and rested at home. Resting means more art-eating-kampung-chicken-with-tapai activity (full hour) and Star World channel. Then my parents return from tudung shopping and we visited my Pak Chak (eldest). He treated us to his dusun of Longan (I don’t eat, dunno why). More importantly, I met a very significant person in my life there. He initiated a very (80%) change in my personality and interest development of my life (wow!!!). but we just exchanged a sentence, ‘touched’ for a second (real time) and I had to get to the car. We’re going to Pak Ya again for the 3rd session. I really wished to stay. We reached home by 8 and we just chilled at home watching tv and sleeping early. I still woke up late though. Couldn’t sleep. Dunno why.

Its Monday and we’re finally going back. I again bought 15 nasi lemak. But this time, I got RM2 rebate (the eggs ran out) and a free gift!!!( plastic for sambal ran out, she gave us a Tupperware!!). that was the best food seller I met in my life. Anyway, we visited Pak Ya (again) and start our way home. Starting prom Pak Ya’s house, in Kulim, I drove all the way to Seremban. We made a pit stop to Shah Alam. I needed to take my check from MSU and psp and hamster wheel that I left at MAIS. We reached home around 7.30. I was so exhausted and slept at 9. But I woke up at 5 in the morning (god woke me up) to pray isyak.

And then I realized that I have only ONE MORE WEEK OF HOLIDAY LEFT!!!! WTF!!!!

P/s: I'M USING ENGLISH CUZ I LIKE USING SPELLCHECK WITH MICROSOFT WORD

Late Post: Best 26

Its really been a long time since I’ve posted anything here. I would love to, but I keep having things i would rather do with the laptop of mine. Finally i have enough attention and boredom to write this post.

Since its been a long time, I would like to post a story about the best 26 hours of my life (so far).

By 26 hours, i mean from 12 midday to 2 pm. It was Sunday and I returned back to Shah Alam for a trip to Sunway Pyramid for some ice skating with my class&/scholarshipmates(its a pun). We went almost together (difference in the timeline and point of origin), and arrived to Sunway almost together. It was my first time there. I keep pointing at everything I see. When that gets old, I keep purposely getting left behind to keep pointing by myself. The people there were also very impressive (by 'impressive' I mean 'damn-that's-a-very-hot-homosapien'). I met the love of my life, A&W (my stomach is biologically my life), but I betrayed her by eating at giant, scraped from the others in fact.

Before i forget, the people who went are Amin, Ammar, Aiman, Aiman, Afiq, Azizi, Faris, Fidot, Helmy, Mustakim, Shanubar. This is reference to my delight and my point of hatred for the day (by 'hate' I mean 'I-am-very-very-very-jealous-of-u')

Then after zohor we finally went ice skating. IT WAS DAMN HARD!!!!!yet very enjoyable. At first most of us started drifting to the walls for salvation, some of us with pre-rollerblade-experience, came to our aid. These people that I 'hate' are Aiman, Aiman, and Azizi, but I cant hate azizi because of a future sentence in this post, so I replace him with Shanubar whom I will hate later in the post.

I just tried copying what others around me (who are not drifting, and very cute) were doing. Slowly I progressed to a fall(s). This is where azizi came and help me. The first few seconds were literally me hugging him as I try to apply his methods (this would sound so dirty if it was not about skating). Then he held me in his arms until I could move (labor?). Then he slowly let go of me as I move forward (break?). It was like a romance movie where the boyfriend teaches the girlfriend to skate (what was it again?), only weirder. I'm weird. Face it.

I then spend an entire hour learning the basics of skating. Then we had to stop for rink-cleaning after i wet myself, in melted ice, for falling more that I was supposed to(5). Then I brought my hubby a drink and texted my date for tonight. Then we continue with the skating. At this point, I could move at a speed-walking speed, but still cant challenge my savior/teacher of the day, the other guys with rollerblade experience, and Shanubar(this is why I 'hate' him). It is to note that by this time, half of us already went back, one of us was injured (get well soon aiman!), and another is still weird. We skated for another hour before we finally stop for asar, around 6pm.

Then me, Azizi :) and Shanubar >:( , the last to leave Sunway, decided to eat ramen at Sushi King. Before the ramen-ing begins, I brought Azizi a pretzel. It was his and mine first pretzel. It was sugar and cinnamon flavored. It was nice sharing. The azizi ate ramen, shanubar ate bento, and I ate udon. It was the best japanese meal of my life, mainly not because of the food (49% food).

Then we head back to Shah Alam to PAS, which azizi didn’t follow, sadly, to buy me and Shanubar new shoes. I thought I would buy the promotional ones, but some genetic code disorder occurred (they don’t have my size) and I bought a promotionless Quicksilver shoes and shanubar also shoes that are in any way have a discount.

We went back to MAIS, I took a quick shower, and waited for my date outside of McD. I got in the car, and after 3 minutes of not deciding where to go, it was decided that we will go to Genting Highland (it was 12 at the time!!). Along the way, we bought McD. I fed the driver while eating some of it. The scenery along the way, even Shah Alam, at night, were breathtaking. Literally. It was beautiful. No cars, no smoke, so many lights, so many views. The journey that night was the most beautiful journey I’ve been in my life.

When we arrived, we looked for a hotel to stay, but all hotels were 'full house' but we kept looking. Walking after a day's skating was not easy. And finally got a room with my date's amazing social skills (not really. A guy offered us). We slept comfortably. A night at genting. Finally. We checked out in the afternoon. We ate Kenny Roger's for lunch/breakfast. We descended. We had to hurry so driving was very skillful for a proton Perdana. Zipped through Shah Alam traffic. Dropped me to MAIS. Thanked for a very nice night, and prepare for going back home.

When you stood, Its you, firsts

Yesterday,

I went to the big mosque, initially not to pray sadly, but to do a favor for my mother. She wanted me to pay something she didn’t (SHE SHALL PAY DEARLY!), in addition of buying a new item of identical shape and quality (a veil). The total cost was RM60. I don’t really mind the price since I will get it back, but what I do mind is where I got the money from. Apparently, I borrowed it. This can be explained clearly in 5 words written using caps lock: I LOST MY ATM CARD!!!!

I made my way back after I prayed Asar in the really big tourism mosque (my first non-Friday jemaah). As I made my way back, unpleasant exaggeration of a riot is brewing at home. The opposition party claimed trial on the fact that it is not their turn to cook. They suggest a petition that ∀Sunday, the cooking turn, and also my turn to cook the day before (my mom brought them), both are not valid. I as the self proclaimed government reject the suggestion by stating that even though my mother brought most of it, but I was still the one who cooked the rice and made the table and drinks. It clearly states in the treaty of cooking turns, that one ones turn to cook, one is obliged to prepare food in any way, where outside food is allowed. But for some no good reason, I backed down (one of my many horrible habits) and volunteered to cook for the day. The matter was settled in ceasefire (or so I thought) and I pondered the wonders that is myself as chef (just mix everything in, as long as you don’t die, its good).

But then I got another call from someone unexpected and he diplomatically persuaded (semi-scolded) me that I should not back down, and he will settle it. I was so touched by the gesture (even if a bit harsh). It’s very very very rare that someone stood up for me so seriously. I’m a too kind of a person who gives in to pleas and begs and even threats if it means someone will be happy (that’s so noble of me!). I was seriously touched to the point that I would have fell right on the pedestrian sidewalk and cried tears of passion and joy. But I didn’t (for SERIOUSLY OBVIOUS REASONS!!!)(but it did cross my mind). The point is, (preparing exclamation marks…)

I’M VERY GLAD FOR HIM TO DO SOMETHING FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And in other news…

I’m currently addicted to SUPER JUNIOR, a boy band of Korea. The members are real cute and pure looking (like any other Korean artists) and their songs really caught me. I’ve been hearing them half-day, everyday for three weeks now. My favorite is a song called IT’S YOU. In an attempt to appreatiate its AWSOMENESS and really COOL yet TOUCHING lyrics, I will attempt to post my first video here.

Here goes =>

Blood and phobias related

I have a peculiar phobia, where I am afraid of knowing my blood is flowing out of my body. Its really ok if I don’t know (sleeping of fainted), but if I do, I cant even sleep. Sometimes it took me hours to sleep cuz I was thinking that all the mosquitoes in the room are waiting me to fall asleep to prey on my luscious exposed skin.

Today (4 hours ago) I had a lab session. Our activity for today was the I-didn’t think-would –be-that-scary blood test. Well, remembering the last time I did it didn’t really help.

I mean seriously. The procedure requires you to stick a giant triangular shaped needle (I don’t even wanna approve it as a needle) into your compressed finger, all purple. I mean, who in their right mind would wanna purposely injure themselves?! With something that big!!!!

I for one already know my blood type. I don’t see why I needed to waste 2 drops of blood for a test in which I already know the results. It would take my body a full hour just to replace the two drops of blood. I don’t have body-metabolism time to waste on a test!!!!

But then I did it. One because I can’t leave class until I do. Two is because my classmates smelled my overflowing fear (it was pretty obvious with the screaming and running), they pursuit me even to the hallways (literally!!). Obviously I will have to die on the day I bleed myself, my teacher/lecturer did it for me. And I even got O blood as a result, which is weird cuz last I checked ( to my horror), I was an A, as in A for Amin. haha

It was as horrific as I remembered. I had to suck my finger until we reached the surau (200 meters).

A note to all bloodsuckers and future blood test and donation persons, DO NOT TOUCH ME!!!(when I’m awake), OR YOU SHALL DIE!!!!(or just be hated by one more person in the world.