Note to Self

From Amin, to Amin...

Do not jump off a stair in public (they dont care, but your sandals do)

Wake at least one hour before the bus arrives (or earlier)

Always have breakfast (no matter the cost)(WAIT, BUY CHEAP ONES!!!)

You dont like Hakim (the restaurant)(and the work)

Figure out why you use the sambal of Sup Utara as gravy (WHY THE HECK???!!!!)

Dont splash water on someone (NO MATTER HOW CRAZY YOU ARE!!!!)

Care what Azizi and azam thinks about cleanliness (azizi about food, azam about housekeeping)(THEY ARE NEVER WRONG!!!)

Buy a facewasher

Drink soy to grow hair

Grow hair at all cost

KEEP IT at all cost

Get to INDIA at all cost

Be close to that person at all costs

All costs should be moderated

Say thank you to everyone that helps you

U80 bus comes around every 45 minutes

Be 30 minutes early

If you sleep pantsless, makee sure u wea a blanket (cold morning)

Go jogging (u need it)(and the 'view' is nice (>.<)) 

 Do push-ups every morning (to cover up your surprisinfly visible ribs) 

 

Buy Ahmad Hafiz a kit kat 

 

Buy Safwan and Fidot chocolates 

 

Buy presents for Rono and Paul 

 

Deliver the presents to Rono and Paul 

 Ask for their addresses first 

 

When you realize that you hate your parents because they are the same as you, completely forget the though...if not, your better of dead. 

 

Anyway, I have this habit of talking to myself. Who else knows you better? Who else is always there for you? I have this habit of saying "Note to self, ....." a lot. I usually forget then in the next 5 minutes, but the above are some that are important enough for me to remember. Talking to myself makes me who I am now. I have this inferiority complex where unless someone is against it, I think that anything I do is hated by everyone. Lately(the past 3 years), this problem was covered by my fortunate scoring of the whole year of form 5 and SPM. Since, people have been thinking me as a genius or something(NOT TRUE!!!),and thus, the inferiority complex is repelled. But now, with a lot smaller community (OMG mara!!! what happened?), and exam scores cant help me (or can it?...), Its coming back. Thus develops a new personality of Amin, or was it just the real one? 

Anyway, these good people somehow made me more confident. I usually establish a crush every time I enter a new community as a motivation and strive for that person, but my whole class made me feel very happy, and I appreciate that. 

Then again...my crush is still my motivation (its always the good ones), and I find myself studying when I see my crush studying. 

The feeling is still there, and as we are together and I understand more, the feeling grows. 

Thanks.

Dreams

ITS ANOTHER WEIRD DREAM!!!! SARCASTIC YAAAYYY!!!!

It actually happened 2 days ago. I had too hard of a time fighting my desire to do absolutely nothing (ruined by the promise of future fame and wealth).

Like any of your dreams, I cant actually remember how it started. I can only remember the most interesting (a.k.a weird) part of it. As mentioned in the previous sentence, I don't even know how it started, so I,m just going to tell you key points.

First scene: CANT REMEMBER!!! Dreams are the world that science practically base its aims on, but it comes with a forget-90-percent-of-it feature (totally unnecessary if you ask me. But then if it wasn't there, we would sleep all day now wont we? (not that we're not already).

Back to the point, the first part consist of somehow (?) me being somewhere (?!) with someone(?!!!!!!!!!!)(oh wait, I did remember, but don't wanna tell). Now that I'm writing this at this time, it seem like we were alone with a lake-like background (Shah Alam?). The only part that I remember is when that someone(still not telling) actually told me to stay away from him (in an annoyed kind of way), with me keep bugging everyday (ogling, staring, you know what I mean)(or do you now...). Then again, maybe it was just plain anger. Then againX2, I think we were on a 'kayak'. OH MY GOD!!! IT WAS THE KAYAKING, that would have happened today (damn you rain)(P/s:I still like rain). I just realized as writing this that maybe I was seeing the future!!!! (0.0). Just maybe.... I should post my dreams earlier....

Anyway, the next scene, somehow, I was going into a fight with someone (I really don't know this one), a guy, but then after what i don't even recall, we both turned into girls, the scene was suddenly my seremban house living room, and I was talking about my past, as if to explain why I was picking a fight. Kinda like cliche part of a manga (who the heck pause a fight to talk!!!). Then when we actually fight, it wasn't normal, but the pain was at normal body parts. At this point of my life, pain in dreams are already common. But this time, when I woke up to the call of subuh (thx mus), my left arm, the one last injured in the dream fight, was actually paralyzed for 5 minutes. It was not that it was holding my body weight (I checked immediately), or some kind of super power coming after a radioactive mosquito bite (still checking)(been checking since I discovered the wonders of television). I still don't know, even after typing it.

What I'm trying to say here, is that my last two dreams are feeling more realistic. It's actually scaring me. Who in their right mind wouldn't?(Einstein?).

Then again...

Still, without it, It would make me something like this...

Relativity and Stereotypes

When describing something or someone, we use what the English language calls 'adjective'. It is a work that represents a criteria of a person. We often use these words in our daily life, speaking or not...

But what people do not realize is that almost all adjectives are not actually a word for a specific trait. All adjectives are 'comparing' words. What I'm trying to say is that adjectives are directly determined by the most common trait in humans.

For an example, in Malaysia, the height of 170cm is 'normal' for male. Any higher of a number will be called tall and the opposite will be called short. But in the USA, 180cm is the 'normal' so most Malaysians will be referred to as short.

What I'm trying to point out here is that we only judge people with what we usually see. We all have the gift by god of being a 'one of a kind'. So why are we clumping a lot of people together in adjective categories? Is it so fun to be the same like everybody else, do what other people do and ignoring your own preference. Your only comfort is the little things that you do like how you eat, personal secret habits, the ignored preference, or maybe your boobs or penile size.

If you think about it, you should be ashamed to be this so called 'normal'. Everyone has a different specific goal in earth life, but why must we take the same route. Taking a different route doesn't mean you will be alone. There is this thing called "The Universal Rule of Universe", and one of them is 'nobody is alone'.

Lumping people together (stereotyping) just because they are the same race of from the same country is wrong. Just because some(most) Malays are lazy, some Chinese are dirty, some Indians are rude, and some Muslim are terrorists, DOES NOT MEAN THAT ALL OF THEM ARE.

As a summary, i would like to quote;

"IT'S OKAY TO BE WEIRD, IT'S WEIRD IF YOU'RE NOT"

Occational non-lazy swings

La st nite I dreamed that i had a fever so hot that I burned myself when I touched my own arm. Then when I woke up, I was actually in a bed (not mine) and totaly healthy and not hot, a bit cold actually. It amazes how in the dream, the fever felt very real. When I woke up for Subuh (thx alot Amad), i came to fear that it was a sign of hell in the future, the actual hell.

So it inspired me to do something that actually count as not wasting time. So I read the book that I bought at Kinokuniya the day before. I read it all morning and got through 200 wonderful pages of the thriller novel. I stopped purposely at 12 and bath, planning to go straight to lunch at Sup Utare, pray at the surau, and do some assignments.

But then, Sup Utare wasnt open, and i went for plan D, sardines and bread for lunch. I put the sardines in a water bath. In the process of waiting, i was somewhat forced to clear the sink in order to actually have lunch. It actually angered me enought that they didnt clean up yesterday even after my mom actually made lunch for them. I AM REALLY ANGRY!!! Still pissed till this post, but with more patience with time. Eventually I end up cleaning the whole sink of ignored garbage and unattended containers, and even took out the trash. All out of anger.Then I ate, while watching How I Met your Mother and got addicted till 4, then I prayed. Then I felt like doing the research at night, so i went downstairs, briefly watched some crappy Bleach episode, and slept at Jojo's room.

I woke up at 7 to pray and ate diner and continued reasearching. But then I sidetracked,a nd my browser got stuck. So I went downstairs and continued reading my novel for 100 more pages on Zizie's bed (doubled now),till at around 2 when i actually get ready for bed.

Now I'm sleeping late writing this post. The dream the nite before really bugged me till now. And the fact that I usually do good deeds out of a wrong feeling (envy, anger, selfish, fame, impressing). The fact that although I keep doing the little good deeds everyday, I dont do the major ones as often.

YOU CAN ONLY FEEL GUILTY, IF YOU REALLY ARE...

Saye telah wat anouncement

Adelah suatu hari di CFS, kawan saye bertanye tentang kahwin, make saye secare jujur-lurus-bendul-bodo-gak menjawab:

"Saye x suke pompuan skarang. Xsuke tu maksud saye bukan saye gay, cume saye x brminat or even terase nak couple ngan pompuan skarang. So kalau suatu hari nanti, kalau adelah seorang perempuan ni berjaye memikat hati saye, make saye tau lah die jodoh saye"

Diorang pon tye la balek, kalau parents yg carikan isteri camne? Make saye pon mejawab:

"Parents saye xkan bwat cam2. Saye dah tanye 3 kali dah kat diorng supaye jangan carikan. Danh konfem siap2 dah"

So post ni sbnrnyer cume nak ckp, just becoz i dont wanna couple with girls right now, x brmaksud i dont like to be friends.

But in reallity, kalau seseorng tu memang mempunyai personaliti yang menarik, sape x suke kan? Xkisahla laki ke pompuan...