Occational non-lazy swings

La st nite I dreamed that i had a fever so hot that I burned myself when I touched my own arm. Then when I woke up, I was actually in a bed (not mine) and totaly healthy and not hot, a bit cold actually. It amazes how in the dream, the fever felt very real. When I woke up for Subuh (thx alot Amad), i came to fear that it was a sign of hell in the future, the actual hell.

So it inspired me to do something that actually count as not wasting time. So I read the book that I bought at Kinokuniya the day before. I read it all morning and got through 200 wonderful pages of the thriller novel. I stopped purposely at 12 and bath, planning to go straight to lunch at Sup Utare, pray at the surau, and do some assignments.

But then, Sup Utare wasnt open, and i went for plan D, sardines and bread for lunch. I put the sardines in a water bath. In the process of waiting, i was somewhat forced to clear the sink in order to actually have lunch. It actually angered me enought that they didnt clean up yesterday even after my mom actually made lunch for them. I AM REALLY ANGRY!!! Still pissed till this post, but with more patience with time. Eventually I end up cleaning the whole sink of ignored garbage and unattended containers, and even took out the trash. All out of anger.Then I ate, while watching How I Met your Mother and got addicted till 4, then I prayed. Then I felt like doing the research at night, so i went downstairs, briefly watched some crappy Bleach episode, and slept at Jojo's room.

I woke up at 7 to pray and ate diner and continued reasearching. But then I sidetracked,a nd my browser got stuck. So I went downstairs and continued reading my novel for 100 more pages on Zizie's bed (doubled now),till at around 2 when i actually get ready for bed.

Now I'm sleeping late writing this post. The dream the nite before really bugged me till now. And the fact that I usually do good deeds out of a wrong feeling (envy, anger, selfish, fame, impressing). The fact that although I keep doing the little good deeds everyday, I dont do the major ones as often.

YOU CAN ONLY FEEL GUILTY, IF YOU REALLY ARE...